“For joint accounts to work well, you need a basic level of trust, shared goals, and desire for transparency,” says Michelle Jones, chief external affairs officer at Money Management International (MMI), a financial counseling and education nonprofit. “Hopefully, those components are already in place for most relationships. But there could still be some scenarios where a joint account is not in your best interest.” According to a survey by Truist Bank and the Harris Poll, most people admitted they spend and save money differently from their partner, and 35 percent blame finances for their relationship stress. To avoid squabbling over money, more couples are opting not to merge their spending and accounts. Millennial couples, especially, are less likely to blend their money than older generations. Finances, in general, and whether to open a joint bank account is something couples should discuss before tying the knot, Jones says. But there should be no rush to mingle your money when you get married, especially if you have an established career, significant savings, or family financial obligations. If your partner is pressuring you to open a joint account, that’s a red flag that you shouldn’t ignore. You should feel comfortable taking your time to decide how, when, and whether to join your money, Jones adds. Here are some reasons you may want to rethink opening a joint bank account with your spouse. How you grew up plays a role in your money handling habits, too. If one spouse grew up in a wealthy family where money is no object, and the other came from a struggling lower-income family, their perceptions of money might be worlds apart, says Cathy Pareto, certified financial planner and president and founder of Cathy Pareto and Associates in Coral Gables, Florida. “They will often bring that into the marriage or partnership, and it can be cause for lots of fireworks,” she adds. A lender would co-score both spouses, which may mean taking the lowest or median credit score, Pareto explains. “In a case like this, it would be more helpful for one person to establish or improve their credit history and score on their own, without their partner or spouse,” she says. Financial independence is also important if an emergency arises, so each partner needs access to funds and the ability to act independently. If one person is too controlling over the money, it could be a sign of financial abuse. (Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE if you’re experiencing financial or other types of abuse.) “I counseled a woman who had only one bank account, which was jointly held with her husband,” she adds. “Her husband, meanwhile, had his own personal savings and checking accounts, which is where he funneled all of their joint money once he learned she wanted to end the relationship.” “It’s important to understand what your own relationship with money looks like and how your partner’s money values may or may not align with yours,” Pareto says. If you’re not ready for a joint account, be candid about your concerns. Part of the conversation should cover how you’ll handle household bills and expenses. Maybe certain partners handle specific bills or you split each one. Jones says sometimes couples set up a joint account for this purpose alone, but also keep separate accounts. “The most important thing is to create a system so that nothing falls through the cracks,” she explains. Creating a process for when a bill is paid, such as paying bills together or checking it off a list, keeps everyone on the same page. You can always adjust the system as responsibilities and finances evolve. Just be honest with yourself and your partner, Jones emphasizes. Ultimately, she says, “it’s your money, your accounts, and your decision about how to manage your financial affairs.”
